Our loving mother, Barbara Jane Kay, a long time Reno resident, passed away peacefully surrounded by the love of her family on Labor Day just before midnight. Like Cinderella she had somewhere important to go. Like Cinderella she was a class act.

We were lucky enough to be able to talk with her and hold a beautiful, continuous family vigil for 5 days before she passed on to the next life. We cooked, laughed, cried and told stories right up to the end. The last lesson she taught us was how to die in peace with no fear or regret, only love, courage, grace and dignity. She wanted everyone to know how much she loved them.

She was born on June 18, 1922 in Detroit to Alfred and Cecil Lagrou. She is preceded in death by her parents and her brothers Alfred (Burr) and Jim Lagrou as well as her husband Joe Kay, Jr.

During the war she attended Marygrove College in Detroit where she majored in chemistry and was college president. She was chosen by the world famous hematologist, Dr. Wolf Zuelzer, to be his lab assistant at Children's Hospital in Detroit. (Among other things she did his math for him.) She was always an over-achiever, a feminist and a human rights advocate before those were even popular concepts.

She married Joe Kay Jr., the love of her life, in 1947 in Detroit and they moved to Reno in 1949. Together they raised 10 children: Joe Kay III, Chris Kay, Patty Hay-Chapman, Mary Ann Kay, Kathy Leggett, Tim Kay, Rene Campagna, Tom Kay, Liz Andree, and Janie Franklin. She adored her 15 grandchildren and they loved her: Brian, Megan, Sean, Dylan and Curren Kay, Josh and Jason Leggett, Emily Rodela, Amy Warren, Matt and Lindsey Franklin, Morgan and Mason Hay-Chapman, Sydney Andree, and Christian Campagna.

Barbara was very involved in the Catholic Church in Reno, serving as president of several Catholic women's organizations, always emphasizing the teachings of Vatican II which were very dear to her heart. One time back in the 60's our brave and funny mom jumped into Dr. Brophy's swimming pool, fully clothed, to raise money at a cocktail party fundraiser for the Bishop's relief fund.

She hosted large family gatherings in her home every year right up to the end. She had fun dressing up as a witch every Halloween for the neighbor kids. She always had fresh flowers in her home and in her garden and you could often hear music playing, especially opera. Placido
Domingo was her favorite singer. She also loved Pink Martini and the the Italian operatic pop trio, Il Volvo.

After her last child was off to pre-school she retrained and re-certified as a medical technologist. She worked for Sierra Nevada Laboratories for 20 years where she claimed that she invented drawing butterflies, bugs, and flowers on bandaids. She was very proud of her work and had a lifelong love of science.

Barbara was always a sharp dresser and an expert seamstress, sewing her own clothes as well as her children's, including prom dresses and doll clothes. She had different napkins and table clothes that she had sewn for every occasion. She always used cloth napkins and had proper sit down dinners every night. For the last several years she had people over for dinner every night with 7 kids in town bringing meals over.

After retiring she and Joe built a new home in Reno and spent the winters in Tucson, Arizona close to her beloved friend and sister in law, Verna Gray. She traveled to Europe numerous times with her husband, her children, or Verna. She was a fun travel companion because she was an amazing amateur art and architecture historian. She was the most even-keeled person you could ever travel with, always curious and adventurous with a smile on her face and her great sense of humor! She collected spoons from her many travels.

She was an avid reader and loved to be up on current events. You could always talk to her about politics, art, history, and travel. She loved public television and National Public Radio (especially "Wait, Wait, Don' t Tell Me!") and documentaries. Many hours were spent around her kitchen table telling stories and discussing the important events of the day. With so many people talking at once we often called it "Kayous."

Beyond all of her many achievements in life Barbara will be remembered as the most peaceful, generous, intelligent and classy person we know. She never raised her voice with anyone and never said an unkind word about anyone. She accepted and loved people unconditionally and practiced mindfulness in every situation. She was truly a classy lady, the "Queen of Humboldt St." She was never frazzled by anything.

Some of her common sense sayings include:
"Don't sweat the small stuff."
"They'll figure it out."
"Everything in moderation."

We all miss and love her and will carry her excellent example with us all the days of our lives.

Funeral Services will be held at Our Lady of the Snows Church, 1138 Wright St. in Reno, September 14th at 11 AM. A lunch reception will follow at her daughter's home.

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